In arguements I tend to (after calming down) apoligise for everything – I would rather everything be okay than be right – but its not okay – my partner says horrible things to me and never apoligises for his behaviour or his words but Im supposed to forget and move on and if i bring anything up, he gets angry at me again and i need to get over myself and grow up. WTF, I am resenting the fuck out of him at the moment – he leaves as soon as I get home leaving me to do everything – I did the school and kindy drop and pick up around work and had to rush home because he had to leave. This is such a shit way to live – is it so hard to make the bed or do the dishes …do fucking something other than drink coffee, smoke and get stoned in the shed all day?? I ask so little to be happy! Is it too much to ask for him to want to spend time with me – I want to feel like im in a relationship not flatting with some annoying fucktard who pays fuck all and does nothing. Maybe this relationship is over and Im just beating it to death, holding on to what it used to be like when i was special and important to him.
Part-time work
- Finally got my teaching degree in November and after months of stuffing around, have started doing relieving work. Now this was supposed to be a part-time thing but has ended up being a bit full-time (which is great dont get me wrong). My partner looks after Mr 3 for 2 days and takes him to and picks him up from kindy and does the school run. However i find myself (it might be guilt) doing everything else – I get up, do the lunches, get the boys dressed, fed and ready for the day -turn on the jug- wake my partner – make the bed while he is out having a coffee and a ciggie and off to work- when I get home, i dont sit down I start dinner, do washing and dishes if they are there (more than not they are there) do dinner then bath and then bed for the boys 😕 I then pretty much go to bed and it is repeated til the weekend where it varies as partner goes to work and I catch up on house work around doing some fun stuff with the boys. I feel that Im taken for granted at times – Im always pretty much at work – home or with the boys. Maybe I need a life 😕😕 I have been told to go out and do stuff without my family but because we dont see each other alot I like to sspend time with them, although a bit of time on my own would be nice and some alone time with my partner would be great as well. I think I may have to work on that 😀wish me luck
realization
We moved a few weeks ago we had 1 cat and 4 frogs all pretty easy care … the house we moved to has a cat and 5 fish in the pond – which was fine till I purchased a Venus fly trap ….. I suddenly realised I am now responsible for feeding them all… not the children who wanted them, cute cunning bastards they only wanted them when they were small and cute, just as well I’m not like that or they would be all fending for themselves – starving cause they can’t find the bread 😕
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